Hey there I’m Nate, a 37 year old who got out of a career in the Navy and came home to work and get married and now a stay at home Puppy Daddy. I met my wife 7 years ago dated for 5 married for 2. I had just got out of the military and had the whole world in front of me, so I thought.

My dad hired me as a warehouse manager due to what I did in the military I was Supply Officer in charge of some warehouses in San Diego. Let’s just say working for family after having nothing but structure in my life before, was more than difficult. My dad was a fly by the seat of his pants and more reactive than proactive. We butted heads almost on a daily basis, now you’re probably thinking the military was probably more stressful, and you would probably be right. It was a different stress people seemed to make more sense in a way there were instructions to follow and there was instructions on everything to how far your ribbons should be above the pocket. To instructions on the exact process of accepting hazardous material into the warehouse. That was the structure I left behind to a place that had no instructions on anything, so I came in thinking I would change things and my father soon showed me that he didn’t like change one bit. All I thought I wanted was to make processes uniformed and universal for everyday use. Less deviation and easier to track down bottle necks in the system and so on. Organization is what I wanted, but dad was already organized in his head and instead of learning his way I fought him every step of the way. Some called my stubborn like my baby sister who was head of operations and sales.

After a few years of this and a couple of hospital visits due to stress induced health effects. My wife who has a great job said why not just quit and stay home and take care of the house and learn things like cooking and cleaning. We are also in the works of trying to become parents, so it was training to be a stay at home dad. I thought to myself, and of course it was a mans way of thinking. Yeah it’s about time I take a load off and early retire and be a home. Oh how wrong I was. I have a whole new respect to all mothers who do this.

First off we have no kids yet, this has been way more complicated than either my wife or I expected. After a Year and a Half of trying and using all the apps and so many pregnancy tests later. We got accepted to a fertility center and the only one within our side of the state. Ran by only one doctor, I’m still amazed we got in. After the initial tests we found out not only is my stuff counts really low and barely any fluid. My wife has low AMH so from what I understood is she has a low count of eggs and the eggs she has, have low probability of being good to fertilize. Combine her problems with mine and you have the answer we were dreading to hear. We are still currently going through the process she has just gone through her first egg extraction process and let me tell you men have it so easy when it comes to this process. She is pretty close to super hero status and it just proves how much she wants to be a parent. There is one thing you need to know about me is that I’m super anxious about life mostly from my childhood, but that’s another story. The father I talked about earlier is my step father. He is my dad though. Any who back to my wife’s journey so she is taking hormones daily pills and shots and triggers to make as many eggs release for the extraction.

It’s the day of extraction I couldn’t sleep at all the night before staying up till 4 in the mourning watching what ever in the living room just to take my mind off the next day. Now mind you as the husband I don’t have to do anything but put my stuff in a cup and turn it in. After I was done watching what ever I tried to lay in bed I put on my mask for sleep apnea and ended up just laying there staring at the ceiling. I can’t recall what time I finally got some sleep, I was too terrified to check the time. Luckily though I got a good Power Nap in and we got ready and headed into the clinic. My mind was going what felt like a million miles an hour no amount of anti anxiety and adderall could have stoped it. Thoughts of my wife being knocked out but feeling the entire process of the egg extraction needle going through her vaginal wall to the ovaries, or even the thought of her not waking up at all just tore me up and I started to cry right there in the prep room while she was putting on her operation get up with gown. My thoughts became just to much for me to hold in and it doesn’t help that I told my wife that think I’m going to cry and she just hugs me and tells me to let it out. Right as the doctor came in the room. Now what he acted at first as though nothing was up. Which was nice but I had to ask if she was going to be ok. That’s when I knew this Doctor is at the top of his profession, He just asked “what’s the worry about, the future about not having any good eggs, or your wife’s health”. All I could mutter out was I don’t really know but its a little bit of everything or a lot a bit any ways. He came over and rubbed my back with one hand while I was just sitting there and reassured me that everything would be ok and that it was all right to be worried and he would be concerned if I wasn’t. That was nice to hear for sure and reassured me that we are in good hands.

Now we are pretty much caught up in the process and should let you get on with your day. Thanks for reading it felt good to put this down on paper and I would love to continue on other stuff in my life and thoughts and ideas I have. I probably jumped around a lot so I apologize.